Identity

 The last few weeks I have had something on my heart. After watching my kids head back to school after 1.5 years home, in their safe place, I have watched in awe as they transitioned so easily back into traditional schooling life. New roles as “student” and “peer”. My attention has been peeked by the human desire to be loved and accepted. 

Having that deep need met is one of life’s greatest joys. And to freely love and accept others is one of our biggest callings. 

But our IDENTITY cannot get caught up in being accepted by our peers. Our  identity has to be tied to Christ alone. 

Self worth cannot be hinged on the opinions of others and only attached  to the ONE who calls you worthy. 

We cannot ride a roller coaster of others emotions and let that teach us who we are. We will become entangled in self doubt.  

If you live for the praises of others you’ll die by their criticism. 

Today, I want to remind YOU, whoever you are reading this. That you are worthy and accepted and loved. Words from others may sting but that doesn’t hold your identity. That’s found in the one who calls you friend, daughter, son and beloved! 

Faux Perfection

 When I started writing these tid bits and posting them to the internet I had a moment of “The facade of perfection is shattered. Is this too real and raw? I like my bubble of faux perfection. It’s safe here.” But you know what. No ones life is perfect. This outlet of telling bits of my story and how the Lord works on those broken places is authentically me. It also made me think is this what people will remember? The 3x over my whole life I wasn’t included in a party. I have a lot of friends and am invited to a ton of things. Does it come across whiny 😂 Breaking faux “perfection” is hard for me. 

I’ve loved perfection for as long as I can remember. I’ll never forget not winning 1st place at a gymnastics meet when I was in maybe 2nd or 3rd grade and throwing my ribbons right in the trash 😐 My coach made me dig them out and sat with me and explained good sportsmanship. Progress over perfection. While we aim for 1st place we can’t alway perform to perfection. 

I’ve been a work in progress since then. 

Up until I had kids I lived in a state of striving for faux perfection. From cheerleading to my career to people pleasing to make sure everything stayed as “perfect” as possible. 

Having kids really shifts it all. Very little is “perfect” with small kids. I’ll never forget the amount of messages I got after letting Eli play play doh over the carpet when he was little. And I remember thinking how of I hadn’t sought childhood over perfectionism I would have never been the mom to splash in puddles, finger paint, and just let them be little. 

The truth is Jesus is the one and only perfect human. He died on the cross to break the barrier of our sin nature and gift us a spot in heaven next to Him. We can never achieve that status so why spin our wheels in a box marked “perfect”. Our love for Jesus should compel us to a life of righteousness. Choosing to life our lives in a way that humbly honor the only PERFECT one! 

Uninvited

 I sat at dinner with friends when the book “Uninvited” came up. I listened carefully as girl after girl told their story of the pain of being not included and how that book was revolutionary for them. It came to me- and I gently said “well that’s not really a struggle I have faced. I am blessed with a 5 second rebound rate. Moving right along!” 

And doesn’t it seem like when we say things like that- we open ourselves up to be tested in that way. And I was over and over again through 2020 + 2021. The year of “social distancing” and “pods” with whom we felt safe. For the first time I watched groups gather and no invite came my way. I’m a natural connector and gatherer. It’s just how I am made. I kept thinking, “I just wouldn’t have done that to them.” 

Then it hit me. 1. Am I letting the “not invited” status tie to my worth? Am I letting that tell me I am not a good enough friend? Or not well received? My worth was on the line and I knew I had to shift my perspective. Who does GOD call me to be? He calls me worthy- He calls me friend. 

Quality over quantity is true. You become like the 5 people you spend the most time around. So guard those spots carefully. But let’s link arms as women and mothers, and be includers. Remember to have a friend, you have to BE a friend. Reach out, be kind, love well. Build a bigger table. And if you’re going through a season where you feel unincluded. Our Heavenly Father is near. And He calls you friend!!!! 

If you need a seat at the table. I got you! You have a seat saved next to me!